Snow
White, The Princess Bride, The Little Mermaid, Cinderella... From the time
we are old enough to watch a movie we are inundated with images of grandeur in
fantasy weddings. The girl kisses the enchanted frog, or the boy kisses the
sleeping princess, a magical transformation takes place, all obstacles are
overcome, and everyone lives happily ever after! We all know that the real
world does not work like that. But why not? Could it? Perhaps in reality it
won't be quite so perfect. Yet close would be wonderful! A day that is close
may easily qualify as the bride's and groom's Dream Wedding, one that they very
well may accept as perfect, and beyond expectations. Even though envisioning a
perfect day may be an elusive endeavor, it doesn't mean that it is impossible
to conceive or to realize. The goal is to have a great day of celebration for
the newlyweds. To accomplish this, many things are required. The efforts of
innumerous people - family members, friends, and a support team of
professionals - must come together in a concerted effort to achieve the
common goal.
The First Step toward success in planning a wedding
is attaining knowledge and understanding. The better prepared you
are, the better decisions you'll make. The light may shine on the wall of
wisdom, but you must be able to translate the hieroglyphics you see into
something of meaning. "Your Dream Wedding" philosophy is the one that can't be
seen. It is the inner light bulb that flashes on, an epiphany, the true birth
of awareness. Most brides and grooms are unprepared for what they are about to
experience. Since they are the ones for whom this day is designed, this is
where awareness must begin.
Before making decisions about who, what,
when, where, etc., get a general idea of what is involved. Read some books, buy
some magazines, and absorb as much as you can. But don't believe or accept
everything you hear. What really matters is what you want. Talk
to friends and talk to professionals. Get lots of ideas. Having the latest
styles, traditions and fashionable accents are okay, but don't let them
distract from what is important. After your education, you can decide for
yourselves what is most important. But even a no limit budget will require
decisions. It all boils down to one question: What do the bride and groom want?
Your education will help you make qualified decisions that will help you to
achieve your goals.
Now for the Second Step: Make a
plan. Others will have what they think are great ideas for your
wedding. It may start to seem like your plans are not yours anymore. You may
have to explain to someone, or several someones, that "This is not your
wedding, it's mine!" After listening to all they have to say, it will be your
turn to express what you want for your special day, and why these things are so
important to you. With a lot of loving, caring, patience, and talk, you will
probably win over the ones who saw your wedding day differently. They are the
ones who need to see the vision in your mind. Your plan will require the
cooperation of all who are involved, and everyone must be dedicated to it.
Enough family and friends and qualified professionals can make just about
any story become a reality. But the plot of that story must be what you, the
stars of the show, desire. The goals of all the additional players must
be to help accomplish the mission of the main characters. Otherwise the chances
of a Dream Wedding diminish to a gamble of guesses and gamuts mixed with odds
that are against you. Better not to roll those dice. Let everyone know that
your plan is the one they need to embrace.
The Third Step:
Find the right support team. If your education was good,
you’ll be able to better understand the qualities and abilities of
potential candidates for vendors and helpers. The right ones are worth the
money you will spend. They will solve many problems before you realize you had
them, and take care of difficult things easily, with the harder things needing
just a little more time. You will recognize what the cast of your play must
look like, and after many interviews and auditions, you will find the talent
that will add dynamic enhancements, bringing more color, flavor, and delight to
your originally close to perfect plan.
These three huge steps are
really made up of a multitude of small ones. However, to see it in three stages
of development is easier than trying to absorb all the details. If you add an
attitude of flexibility to your own thinking, you won’t notice the small
things, or even the big things, that don't quite work out the way you planned.
After all, what was the most important thing? Before you started designing your
wedding you had already found your soul mate. Before you ever walked down the
aisle you already knew whom you would be holding at the end of the day. Before
you invested all the time and money you already had your most important
partner. So, you see, the most important achievement was already accomplished!
It's all about people management. If you have chosen the right players
and assistants, the wedding day will arrive, and everyone will know their
parts. Once the stage lights up and the curtains open, you will be able to
relax more than you would have, enjoy the day as the guests of honor should,
and celebrate to the fullest with family and close friends. In the end, as the
credits roll, we may actually see the stars twinkling, with a brilliant full
moon shining brightly as the blissful couple sails off into the sunset locked
in a romantic embrace and kiss... And let's take it for granted that you will
live happily ever after... or something very much like
that!
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You popped
the big question, and she said, "Yes! I'll marry you!" Now your job is done,
right? Not hardly, fellas. This is not the time to be is passive. While
preparing for the wedding, you may not really care what the color scheme is for
the reception, or whether you wear a traditional tux or one with tails.
However, it is important that you reinforce your love for your fiancé,
and therefore you must become involved and interested. Now you are panicking,
because this is all new to you. You need not worry. Your fiancé doesn't
want you to pick out the colors for her bridesmaids' dresses, or decide what
kind of flowers her bouquet will contain. What she really wants to know is that
you love her, and you care, and you plan to spend the rest of your life showing
her just how much. What you do now will set the tone for how you will interact
as husband and wife for the rest of your lives.
Three weeks before the
wedding, plan an interlude for just the two of you. The location can be where
you first kissed, or you can recreate your first date. Perhaps you can plan an
elegant dinner at a restaurant that has live music. When making your
reservation you can request that the musicians play a rendition of the song for
your first dance, and invite your lady to join you on the dance floor, the
carpet, or an open area next to your table. You may want to buy a few of her
favorite chocolates as an after dinner treat. Add a small bouquet of her
favorite flowers from the wedding florist. Maybe a picnic is more your style.
Or possibly an evening walk on a starry night, pointing out your favorite
constellations. It's all about being romantic!
Whatever you plan,
personalize it, and make it special. A week prior to your date, send her a card
as an invitation, so that she knows it is important to you. Email her
regularly, counting down the days. Your efforts will confirm what she already
knows - that you love her, that you care about her feelings, and you want her
to be happy. You will have established a precedent, a trend, a way of living
and loving that will always be enhanced with romance. Congratulations on your
engagement!
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What a
Groom Wants
A Bride has the burden of being the focal point at every
social event. Most Brides worry about every single detail of their wedding
day.
A Groom has the burden of showing up.
I'll let you into the
mind of a typical Groom on his wedding day. He wants one thing. Oh, sure, he
might have an opinion about a few items connected with the wedding day, but he
really only wants one thing. He wants the Bride to have That-Look-In-Her-Eyes.
When the two of you are exchanging vows and rings during the ceremony, he wants
his Bride to be the happiest woman on earth. Her eyes say that she's his woman,
he's her man, and she is so in love with him at that moment that nothing else
exists.
That's it. That's what Groom really wants on his wedding day.
The truth is that most men just want their mates to be happy. You want a really
successful relationship with a man? Be happy. Not false, pretend happy. Simply,
soulfully happy.
(Thanks, Clint! That's the Groom's clue of
the decade! Reverend Hufft's contribution to "Your Dream Wedding" is much
greater than this brief excerpt you see here. For more wedding planning
philosophy you can get the entire e-book for $19.95, downloadable now.
Click here to buy the
book!)
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